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Reach Out For Support
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Sometimes things online feel off. Hurtful messages, pressure to send nudes, or dangerous behaviour can leave you feeling upset or uncomfortable. You might think it’s easier to deal with it on your own, but you don’t have to. Talking to someone can help you figure things out and feel more in control.
What Is Reaching Out?
Reaching out means talking to someone when you’re going through something confusing, upsetting, or just don’t know what to do.
Reaching out could mean to
- Connect with a trusted person, who can be a family member, a loved one, a teacher or even a helpline.
- Seek out tips for self-care to better make sense of your experiences and learn coping skills.
Why Is It Important To Reach Out?
At times, the internet can feel overwhelming with negativity, strong opinions, or echo chambers where everyone says the same thing. Whether you need support or just someone to talk to, reaching out to another can:
Help you see things differently
- Gain a different perspective and new insights.
- Understand your options and what to do next.
Be a source of relief
- Let out your frustrations or worries.
- Sort through your thoughts and emotions.
Remind you that you’re not alone
- Realise others have gone through similar things.
- Know that there are people who care and want to support you.
It’s a smart and healthy choice to have people you can turn to whenever you feel unsure about something online. You don’t need to wait for a crisis to start a conversation.
How Do I Start Seeking Help?
Getting started can feel scary at first, but it’s okay to take it one step at a time. There are many ways to reach out, and you can choose what feels most comfortable for you. Here’s how to start:
Decide who to reach out to
- Start by asking yourself who you are most comfortable talking to in this scenario.
- Choose someone you trust and feel safe with.
- This could be a parent, older sibling, teacher, school counsellor, or someone at a helpline or support service.
Be clear about what you need
- Let the person know if you're looking for practical advice, emotional support, or just someone to listen.
- Being honest about your needs helps them understand how to be there for you.
Start with what you’re comfortable sharing
- Observe your feelings and acknowledge them.
- You don’t have to explain everything all at once, you can share more when you are ready.
- It’s okay to be unsure of what you're feeling or why you're feeling a certain way. Even saying “I’m not sure what I’m feeling, but I need to talk” is enough.
Tip: If talking feels too hard, try writing things down. A message, email, or even a note can be a great way to start the conversation.
Lastly, just remember, you don’t have to figure everything out on your own. If something feels off or overwhelming, talking to someone can help you feel clearer and safer. Visit MindSG website for more information on self-care tools and resources to help you better understand and manage your mental health.
(This article is adapted from adapted from MindSG)
What Should I Do?
I tried talking to my parents about something that happened online, but they gave advice I don’t agree with. What can I do?
Sometimes, your parents may not respond in a manner you hope they would despite their best intentions. Here’s what you can do:
- Share how you feel: Gently let them know that their advice doesn’t quite fit your situation and try to explain what kind of support you were hoping for.
- Keep an open mind: Some advice might feel uncomfortable because it challenges you, not because it’s wrong. Stay open to different viewpoints as they can offer new insights or help you see things from another angle.
- Reach out to someone else: If you still feel stuck, talk to another trusted adult like a teacher, school counsellor, or older sibling. Everyone has different experiences and someone else might be better able to support you in this moment.
Remember, your parents may not always get it right, but they care about you. Keeping the conversation open and respectful helps both of you understand each other better over time.
I feel too embarrassed to talk to someone I know because I made a mistake online. Should I still reach out?
Yes, you should. Everyone makes mistakes and what matters is how you choose to handle it. Here’s what you can do:
- You’re not alone: Many people have done something online they regret. You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last.
- Decide who to reach out to: Choose someone you trust who won’t judge you, like a family member, close friend, teacher, school counsellor, or even a helpline.
- Be honest with yourself: You don’t have to explain everything all at once, you can share more when you are ready.
- Be kind to yourself: Feeling embarrassed is normal, but it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve support.
Making a mistake doesn’t mean you have to face it alone. Reaching out is a brave first step toward making things better.
I told my friends about my encounters online and they think I’m overreacting. How do I deal with that?
It can feel really discouraging when others don’t take your experience seriously. Here’s what you can do:
- Trust your gut: If something felt uncomfortable or unsafe, it’s important to figure it out, even if others don’t see it the same way.
- Share how you feel: Let your friends know it upset you when they dismissed your concerns and try to explain what kind of support you were hoping for.
- Reach out to someone else: Talk to someone more experienced in supporting others or empathetic, like a family member, teacher, school counsellor, or helpline.
- Look into self-help: If your experience involved unwanted or uncomfortable contact, take steps to protect yourself. Review your privacy settings, minimise interaction, and report harmful behaviour using the platform’s tools.
One dismissive reaction doesn’t mean no one will care. Keep reaching out until you find the support you need.
I already spoke to someone about an incident that upset me online, but it didn’t make me feel better. Should I bother trying again?
Yes, you should. It’s normal to still feel upset after opening up as healing takes time, and not every conversation brings instant relief. Here’s what you can do:
- Give yourself time: Talking to someone is a step forward, but it may take a few tries before you feel better. That doesn’t mean it didn’t help. It’s just part of the process.
- Share how you feel: Let the person know what’s still on your mind and try to explain what kind of support you were hoping for.
- Reach out to someone else: You can always talk to someone else. Different people can offer different perspectives, and that can help you see things more clearly.
- Do things that make you feel better: Step away from the online space and focus on things that help you feel calm, safe, or happy such as listening to music, going for a walk, or spending time with someone you trust.
It’s okay to ask for help more than once. Every time you reach out, you’re moving closer to feeling better.
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