What is cyberbullying? Cyberbullying is the act of using the Internet or digital devices with the intent of hurting a person or group.

Cyberbullying is one of the main dangers of having access to the online world. A 2013 survey by TOUCH Community Services found that one in four secondary school students admitted to bullying their classmates online, and one in three were victims of cyberbullying. One in five primary school children also reported being cyberbullied. The types of cyberbullying reported were very varied, from sending someone mean messages anonymously to ‘defacing’ their photo and spreading it online.

In Singapore, cases of cyberbullying have increased over time since more kids and teenagers have their own phones and social media accounts, giving them a greater opportunity to cyberbully. This is very worrying since the impact of cyberbullying can as real as bullying in the offline world: people feel hurt, lonely, and embarrassed, and might even become so scared of school that they try to avoid it – which has a real impact on their grades and social lives. As parents, it is important to mentor your child so that they are not involved in cyberbullying, and monitor them so that you can spot if they are.

How can I tell if my child is being cyberbullied?

Changes in their sleep patterns
Poorer physical health
Changes in personality, like becoming more withdrawn, angry, or anxious
School grades suffering
Changes in social circles, like losing many friends
Sudden lack of desire to go to school or societies
Upset after using their phone or going online
Becoming secretive about their phone use

Spot more possible signs of distress and safeguard your child from cyberbullying at Spot And Stop Cyberbullying In Its Tracks.

What are examples of cyberbullying to tell that my child is being cyberbullied?

Hurtful messages, texts, or emails
Embarrassing photos or videos
Excluding someone online
Spreading false rumours about someone online

My child is being cyberbullied. What can I do?

Start a conversation: talk to them and keep an eye on their online and offline behaviour
Be open: if you want them to be honest, you need to reassure them that nothing bad will happen and that you won’t restrict their access to the Internet just because they’ve told you about their problem
Support them: remind them that they did not ask to be bullied, that it is not their fault, and that there is a difference between ‘banter’ and ‘bullying’ – if someone is putting them down and hurting them, it is bullying
Manage the situation: in the shorter term, encourage your child not to retaliate to the messages, and to block or unfriend the bully
Save the evidence: if the messages or posts are online, save or screenshot them
Report the bully: most social networking sites have the option to report content
Turn to the school: if the cyberbullying involves another student of the school, or other teaching institutions like a tuition centre, approach a teacher or school as they likely have a policy in place to handle such issues
Approach the other parent: if there is no mediator to approach, like if the cyberbully is a neighbour or family friend, approach the other child’s parent with the evidence – keep the meeting private, respectful, and keep your tone calm and un-accusatory so as not to escalate the situation

What if the cyberbullying material is still online?

Report all hurtful or embarrassing messages, posts, photos, and videos on the social media site that it happened on: the social media sites should remove these posts within 2 days
Save the evidence of the cyberbullying: save messages, keep screenshots of chats, and download photos and videos for evidence if you later make a complaint
Block the cyberbully: block them on all sites that they can contact your child so that, while the material is being removed, they cannot reach them
Report the cyberbully to the authorities: speak to your child about the option of making a police report or talking to a lawyer

I suspect that my child is a cyberbully. What can I do?

Keep your cool: it can be upsetting to find out that your child is able to hurt anyone, especially if another parent has approached you with evidence, but stay calm and do not jump to conclusions
Talk to your child: ask questions like, “How would you feel if you were left out of games?”
Be open: if you want them to be honest, you need to reassure them that you will not judge their behaviour or immediately restrict their access to the Internet because of their behaviour (that can come later)
Support your child: remind them that there is a difference between ‘banter’ and ‘bullying’, and that if they are putting someone down and hurting them they are bullying – encourage them to be honest about their behaviour and apologise to those they have bullied
Talk about consequences if they continue: discuss with your child appropriate punishment if they continue their behaviour, such as not allowing them to use their phone for a day for every mean comment
Ask them to apologise: an important way for your child to take responsibility for their actions is to apologise to their victims and to remove any content they put online
Praise your child: pay attention to the changes they are making to behave better
Spend time with them: find activities where your child will feel more successful and good about themselves, then take part in these with them
Talk to the school: if the cyberbullying involves another student, approach the school to find additional support – most schools have a policy in place to handle such issues

I think I need professional help. Where can I go?

There are several organisations that can help you if the cyberbullying your child faces is severe or involves sexual harassment of any kind, or if you need help educating your child who is a cyberbully. Here are some:

Coalition Against Bullying for Children and Youth (CABCY) – for advice on cyberbullying
Phone: 6223 3122
Email: ask@cabcy.org.sg

TOUCH Cyber Wellness – for help on a range of cyber wellness issues
Phone: 1800 377 2252
Email: cyberwellness@touch.org.sg

Fei Yue Community Services – for practical and emotional guidance for youth
Phone: 6422 1599
Email: project180@fycs.org

Help123 – hotline for youth cyber wellness issues
Phone: 1800 6123 123
Email: hello@help123.sg

Tinkle Friend – hotline for primary-school aged children
Phone: 1800 2744 788

Samaritans of Singapore – for emotional support for suicide-related issues
Phone: 1800 221 4444
Email: pat@sos.org.sg
Website: https://www.sos.org.sg

Community Justice Centre – for practical and emotional support, and in-person legal advice
Phone: 6557 4100
Email: help@cjc.org.sg
Website: https://cjc.org.sg

The Legal Aid Bureau (LAB) – for legal services for Singaporeans and PRs
Phone: 1800 225 5529
Website: https://lab.mlaw.gov.sg/

AWARE (Association of Women for Action and Research) – for counselling and legal advice for women
Phone: 1800 777 5555
Email: helpline@aware.org.sg
Website: http://aware.org.sg

How to Help Your Child Deal With Cyberbullying

Dangers of Cyberbullying

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